


If Only

by Tarlan



Category: Jurassic Park (Movies), Jurassic Park III (2001)
Genre: Collection: Fandom Stocking 2015, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 12:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5626168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes losing Billy for Alan to realize the depth of his feelings for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Only

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ruuger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruuger/gifts), [HippieGeekGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HippieGeekGirl/gifts).



After the recent events on Isla Sorna the Costa Rican Government had accepted help from other countries, including the U.S., to help them monitor both the airspace and the water surrounding the Las Cinco Muertes island chain. They would allow scientists in to study the prehistoric creatures, brought back to life by InGen's cloning techniques, but only under very strict conditions. No-one wanted a repeat of the San Diego incident, or to read of any more children being attacked by monsters on remote beaches.

The local fisherman were already wary of the area, refusing to fish there as they were convinced there was something big in the water, moving between the islands. From what Alan had seen on the camcorder they'd found when searching for Erik, he knew they were right. The Spinosaurus hadn't been on InGen's published list following the Jurassic Park fiasco, so Alan wondered what else was missing.

What Ingen had done was irresponsible, though Alan wondered if the real culprit was their _Frankenstein_ scientist, Dr. Henry Wu.

As for Jurassic Park, eventually InGen's rivals had confessed to bribing Dennis Nedry, but the computer genius had not been seen since shutting down the system. He never made the last boat and Alan figured he'd not made it off the island alive. It was a fitting end really as good people had died because of that man's greed.

Good people continued to die, he thought as the small boat puttered down the river towards the shore.

Billy was dead.

Still in shock, he'd tried to explain Billy and his actions to Erik, only to discover he hadn't understood him at all. It had taken the words of a boy to bring his world crumbling down and only their dire situation allowed him to keep a tight hold on the grief that threatened to overwhelm him. Billy was gone, and Alan couldn't take back his last harsh words or explain why he'd been so angry with him. Not that he'd had any clue of the depths of his feelings for the other man before this day, this moment.

With too many hours with nothing to do but think, his mind went back over every moment of his time with Billy, seeing it all through fresh eyes. From their first meeting, where Billy had walked in and got his computer to start working again, to that last moment as the pteranodons attacked. What hurt most was knowing Billy had felt the same way about him, both of them leaving the desire unspoken, unacknowledged. The unshed tears stung his eyes.

Eventually his mind moved on to wishful thinking, turning over all those 'If only' moments, filled with bitterness and regret for all the lost opportunities. It was the longest night he could ever recall and by the time the first light of dawn hit the canopy of the trees just above him, he had promised he'd never let another opportunity slip by if he could have Billy back by his side.

Two hours later, his prayer was answered, and he couldn't stop smiling as the helicopter headed away from the monster infested island.

Billy was alive, and Alan was going to grab hold of this second chance with both hands and hang on tight.

END  
 


End file.
